It all began a few weeks ago. I was visiting the abyss, (my own personal name for hitting the lowest point), and while there, I called out to God. But what I heard wasn't all that comforting. I felt compelled to tell my husband, that he is my home, and that if he needed to look outside our area for work, I wouldn't fight him. I did this while sobbing and pouring out everything in my heart. The next day, he came home and said "There's a position open in New York." Well, let me tell you that I am a country girl, and a west coast girl too. So this was about as far from what I had intended as it could be. I took a deep breath, and said rather hesitantly, "O.K." and I tried to wrap my brain around it. My husband had informed his boss that he was interested in the position. So the next several days were a blur of finding out where in New York, or perhaps New Jersey, and me looking at Google Earth to try to come to grips with this idea. In addition, I thought about the implications... leaving my parents who are about at the stage where they may need me more than ever, my daughter and her family, including my two darling grandsons, who have given me joy every day of these last three years, and my school, strings students, church, and my dogs....It was overwhelming to say the least. But my daughter came to my rescue and helped me shift gears to an attitude of adventure.

So a week ago Wednesday my husband accepted the position, but he requested that if possible we relocate to Columbus, Ohio instead of New York. So I got on Craigslist and found many possible houses to rent and looked each one up on Google Earth. I found a couple that caught my imagination and helped me to see this as an exciting opportunity. Thursday, my hubby's boss's, boss's boss, said that the wheels were already turning for severance, and we could not accept this transfer. With that one phone call out the window went a generous relocation package and the house that I had found, and I was left wondering how to feel. Should I feel relieved because I averted a huge move after 21 years of being in the same house, where we raised our children? Should I feel worried because now my husband would join the ranks of the unemployed? Should I be disappointed because I just got my energy revved for this adventure and the rug was pulled out from under us? Quite honestly, I can't put words to how I felt. I guess I felt a little of all of those and more. I have since experienced all of those feelings again and again in turn. All of a sudden I find this knot in my stomach like I am being introduced as a guest speaker before several hundred people, and then my heart starts pounding, but I don't have a concrete image in my head at the time, so I am not sure why I have that going on. So I try to shift gears back into the routine of fall, and somehow it all seems kind of flat right now. So I wait.... for what? I don't know... but adventure is on the horizon, and only God knows where it will take place and when. Perhaps it is right here, or perhaps far away. All I know is that I am glad that God is in charge. He is definitely worth trusting, and he has a plan far better than I could think or imagine. He knows my desires better than I do myself.

It is a glorious, sunny, blue sky fall day. I am going to go live it!!